Post by Cassie on Mar 10, 2008 16:11:18 GMT -5
"Knowledge Is Power"
Knowledge of stalking can't be emphasized strongly enough. Hopefully by the time you have reached this section you have a better overall understanding of what stalking is and the devastation that it truly causes not only you, the victim, but family, friends, neighbors and co-workers.
Unfortunately for many victims, stalking begins long before you actually realize what has happened. "Most people don't realize it because they feel so helpless and vulnerable, but the letters and phone calls that come in the early stages of stalking are now a criminal offense," according to Linda Fairstein of the Manhattan District Attorney's Prosecution Unit. "Keep the tapes of the messages. Save the letters. Stalking generally escalates from there, and usually, it gets worse."
You may have received unwanted messages or even threats but you haven't taken them seriously or you have been intimidated into thinking that there wasn't anything you could do or that no one would believe you. You may have experienced minor vandalism but you felt that without proof of "who did it" you couldn't file a report. You may have made the mistake of confronting the stalker or you may have had other individuals try to intervene on your behalf, all to no avail.
Over and over victims state: "If I had only known what I could have done in the beginning. Why didn't someone tell me to start documenting and filing reports even if it was for documentation only? Every time I met with my stalker I honestly thought it would end, he kept telling me - just meet with me one last time and I'll leave you alone, I believed him. What would the police think if I told them I had met with my stalker? Would they understand or believe me why I did?"
At one time or another all victims have been faced with the aforementioned. Don't beat yourself up with the "what if I had done this or what if I had done that." Always remember you're not alone and that it's never ever too late to start documenting and filing the crucial police reports. Do it now - don't wait any longer.
Prosecuting stalking cases is often proving that a victim is being stalked. By legal definition, stalking requires a series of acts, and victims must be able to show this "course of conduct" or continuation of behavior. Therefore, you will need every scrap of evidence you can come up with. You can't wait for authorities to build your case; it's something that is often left up to you. Is it fair? No, but it's something that must be done. As a victim of stalking you'll have to do much of the case building and evidence collecting yourself. If you want the stalker incarcerated, you'll have to be willing to do a bit of work.
To make an arrest for stalking, police officers must have probable cause, or evidence, that the crime actually occurred, and as a stalking victim you must often supply this. This is not that difficult because, by the very nature of the crime, stalkers tend to leave a considerable amount of evidence behind, such as messages on answering machines, threatening letters, confrontations when other people are present, past criminal records, etc. Save and document everything for the police.
One of the hardest things for any victim to face is accepting the reality that you are being stalked and that it's virtually impossible to stop a stalker by yourself.
Documentation
No matter what book or article you read, or what victim or expert you speak with, in relation to stalking, the one thing you will hear from each and everyone is document, document, document.
Keep a log of the stalkers telephone calls and any encounters with the stalker, including dates, times, and witnesses to the encounters. In addition, save all answering machine tapes, notes and letters you have received from the stalker. Messages on an answering machine, text messages, faxes, letters, and even computer e-mail messages are all import in building a case.
Many cases are never prosecuted, for lack of evidence. Stalking situations often involve the victim's word against the suspect's and little evidence. The main thing is to call the police when things happen (no matter how minor it may seem) and to document everything.
Building a stalking case is very much like putting a jigsaw puzzle together. In the end all the pieces of the puzzle will fit together.
The following are various ways that have helped victims, police, and prosecutors obtain a successful prosecution.
The Journal
Where do I start if I haven't kept a journal?
First try going back to the very first recollection you have of meeting your stalker. If your stalker is unknown, the following can also be applied.
Compile a chronological summary of events from that first day through the present. This doesn't have to be in great detail. A few short sentences that summarize the importance of that particular day or something that was said or done at a particular time. Try to keep it short and simple. No matter how minor you think a situation was or a comment that was made (even out of jest), write it down. You may start to see a set pattern develop. If you can't remember the exact date or the exact time estimate and make a note of it. Some victims have included the good times as well on a separate sheet to help them fit pieces of the puzzle together.
This journal will give you, the victim, an overall view of your stalking and may well bring to light various set patterns that you have overlooked. Also include any comments that other people have made about your stalker (family members, friends, co-workers) or observations.
Don't ever lie about or minimize your involvement with the stalker. If you lie, the police and prosecutors will not know what to believe when they find out the truth.
If you have had an intimate relationship with the stalker tell the officers. If you've met with your stalker don't be afraid to admit it. I haven't met a victim yet who at one time or another thought he/she could reason with their stalker.
Recently a young victim, who had been terrorized and threatened for months, agreed to meet and sleep with her stalker prior to court. She was in fear for her life and knew if she didn't she would never see the courtroom again. She kept it to herself. When her stalkers defense attorney questioned her on the stand about the encounter, the prosecuting attorney was blindsided.
The police are there to help you. The prosecuting attorneys are there to prosecute. If you lie, fabricate, or hide relevant information such as this your jeopardizing the outcome of you're case and possibly your life.
There may come a time when your documentation will be introduced as evidence so be truthful.
Comments From Former Maricopa County Stalking Victims On Journals
Take several days to compile your journal if you haven't kept one in the past. You won't be able to remember everything in one night. When something pops in your head write it down. Don't worry what order you have it in at the time. Go back later and put it in the proper order according to the dates and times. Continually update your journal whenever you think of something and don't be surprised if it's days, weeks, or even months later when you remember various instances. Enlist the help of friends or family members to see if they can remember anything that could be of value.
Carry a small cassette tape recorder in your car. There were so many times, when I was driving in my car, that I would see something that instantly reminded me of something that I had forgotten about. I couldn't write and drive at the same time so I used my recorder. My tape recorder became my best friend. I paid $9.95 for mine. Small price to pay when it came to proving my case in court.
There were so many small things happening to me. I had totally convinced myself that none of these things would be relevant but I still documented everything (I do mean everything). In the end my journal proved to be one of the most important items in the prosecution of my stalker. It showed the police, the prosecutor, the jury and myself what was really happening. It did help prove my case. Was my journal worth the time I put into it? Absolutely.
My final draft put me in shock. Why didn't I ever see what was happening? If nothing else it woke me up. My recommendation to any victim of harassment or stalking is even if you feel you're not ready to file reports (like I did) -- write it down, read and re-read your journal. Let other people read it and listen to their views objectively. It gave me the confidence and courage to start filing reports. I found out it wasn't my imagination nor was I causing the situation. For weeks I had focused on one or two major issues and ignored the small ones. When my journal was complete I then saw the whole picture. The pieces to my puzzle finally put my stalker in jail.
When I finally got the courage to share and talk about my situation with my family and I would hear them make a remark on something that they remembered, it went in my journal. It wasn't until I almost lost my life that I realized that the jokes my stalker had made in the past weren't jokes. I am a survivor who never thought his jokes meant anything until he ran me off the road, over a small embankment. One thing he always joked about was how funny it would be to see me hanging over a cliff with me begging for his help and forgiveness. I know this wasn't a cliff but it was close enough for me. Listen and be aware of things that have been said to you - document, document, document and file police reports.
When my stalker was finally charged with stalking and I met with the person doing the pre-sentence investigation I was asked to give a general background. I not only had copies of the reports that had been filed but a copy of my journal with me. When I found out it could be given to the judge to read I was overwhelmed. It did scare me to find out that his defense attorney would get a copy but it was ok. Everything I had journalized had happened and I had nothing to hide. Between my journal and the police reports I had it gave a complete, simplified background on the stalking right down to the smallest "unexplained vandalism" to my car and the threats I continually received. I wish I could have seen the look on my stalkers face when his attorney confronted him.
I spent weeks keeping my journal up to date even when I became frustrated, angry and depressed. The only way I saw out was to relocate but I couldn't afford it. It wasn't until sentencing that the full impact and the full importance of my journal hit me. Two days before court I went through and highlighted everything I wanted to tell the judge and to try and make him understand what hell I had lived through. I was scared to death but without my journal I would have been a blundering fool. My stalkers family had no prior knowledge what had been done to me. After I had my turn to speak in court and my stalker was sentenced members of his family came over to me to apologize saying how sorry they were that they didn't have any idea what I had gone through. Please tell victims for me that journals do play a big part when your in the nightmare game of stalking (don't every look at stalking as a game, I'm using it only as a figure of speech). For me it was the bottom of the ninth inning, bases loaded, two outs, score tied, 3 balls and 2 strikes. I hit my grand slam against my stalker --so can you!
When I started compiling my journal it scared me to death. Everything jumped out at me in black and white. Things that I had told myself for weeks, that I thought were nothing, all fell together. It was like dumping a bucket of ice water over me. Why hadn't I written things down before? When I saw it in writing I knew I needed help from the police, it was far beyond my control. My advise to anyone being harassed or stalked. Don't wait, document - document - document. File the reports, prosecute and don't back down under any circumstance.
The journal can be a very valuable tool in prosecution. Keep it up to date and in a secure place. Always keep a duplicate copy of the journal in the event the original journal turns up missing.
Knowledge of stalking can't be emphasized strongly enough. Hopefully by the time you have reached this section you have a better overall understanding of what stalking is and the devastation that it truly causes not only you, the victim, but family, friends, neighbors and co-workers.
Unfortunately for many victims, stalking begins long before you actually realize what has happened. "Most people don't realize it because they feel so helpless and vulnerable, but the letters and phone calls that come in the early stages of stalking are now a criminal offense," according to Linda Fairstein of the Manhattan District Attorney's Prosecution Unit. "Keep the tapes of the messages. Save the letters. Stalking generally escalates from there, and usually, it gets worse."
You may have received unwanted messages or even threats but you haven't taken them seriously or you have been intimidated into thinking that there wasn't anything you could do or that no one would believe you. You may have experienced minor vandalism but you felt that without proof of "who did it" you couldn't file a report. You may have made the mistake of confronting the stalker or you may have had other individuals try to intervene on your behalf, all to no avail.
Over and over victims state: "If I had only known what I could have done in the beginning. Why didn't someone tell me to start documenting and filing reports even if it was for documentation only? Every time I met with my stalker I honestly thought it would end, he kept telling me - just meet with me one last time and I'll leave you alone, I believed him. What would the police think if I told them I had met with my stalker? Would they understand or believe me why I did?"
At one time or another all victims have been faced with the aforementioned. Don't beat yourself up with the "what if I had done this or what if I had done that." Always remember you're not alone and that it's never ever too late to start documenting and filing the crucial police reports. Do it now - don't wait any longer.
Prosecuting stalking cases is often proving that a victim is being stalked. By legal definition, stalking requires a series of acts, and victims must be able to show this "course of conduct" or continuation of behavior. Therefore, you will need every scrap of evidence you can come up with. You can't wait for authorities to build your case; it's something that is often left up to you. Is it fair? No, but it's something that must be done. As a victim of stalking you'll have to do much of the case building and evidence collecting yourself. If you want the stalker incarcerated, you'll have to be willing to do a bit of work.
To make an arrest for stalking, police officers must have probable cause, or evidence, that the crime actually occurred, and as a stalking victim you must often supply this. This is not that difficult because, by the very nature of the crime, stalkers tend to leave a considerable amount of evidence behind, such as messages on answering machines, threatening letters, confrontations when other people are present, past criminal records, etc. Save and document everything for the police.
One of the hardest things for any victim to face is accepting the reality that you are being stalked and that it's virtually impossible to stop a stalker by yourself.
Documentation
No matter what book or article you read, or what victim or expert you speak with, in relation to stalking, the one thing you will hear from each and everyone is document, document, document.
Keep a log of the stalkers telephone calls and any encounters with the stalker, including dates, times, and witnesses to the encounters. In addition, save all answering machine tapes, notes and letters you have received from the stalker. Messages on an answering machine, text messages, faxes, letters, and even computer e-mail messages are all import in building a case.
Many cases are never prosecuted, for lack of evidence. Stalking situations often involve the victim's word against the suspect's and little evidence. The main thing is to call the police when things happen (no matter how minor it may seem) and to document everything.
Building a stalking case is very much like putting a jigsaw puzzle together. In the end all the pieces of the puzzle will fit together.
The following are various ways that have helped victims, police, and prosecutors obtain a successful prosecution.
The Journal
Where do I start if I haven't kept a journal?
First try going back to the very first recollection you have of meeting your stalker. If your stalker is unknown, the following can also be applied.
Compile a chronological summary of events from that first day through the present. This doesn't have to be in great detail. A few short sentences that summarize the importance of that particular day or something that was said or done at a particular time. Try to keep it short and simple. No matter how minor you think a situation was or a comment that was made (even out of jest), write it down. You may start to see a set pattern develop. If you can't remember the exact date or the exact time estimate and make a note of it. Some victims have included the good times as well on a separate sheet to help them fit pieces of the puzzle together.
This journal will give you, the victim, an overall view of your stalking and may well bring to light various set patterns that you have overlooked. Also include any comments that other people have made about your stalker (family members, friends, co-workers) or observations.
Don't ever lie about or minimize your involvement with the stalker. If you lie, the police and prosecutors will not know what to believe when they find out the truth.
If you have had an intimate relationship with the stalker tell the officers. If you've met with your stalker don't be afraid to admit it. I haven't met a victim yet who at one time or another thought he/she could reason with their stalker.
Recently a young victim, who had been terrorized and threatened for months, agreed to meet and sleep with her stalker prior to court. She was in fear for her life and knew if she didn't she would never see the courtroom again. She kept it to herself. When her stalkers defense attorney questioned her on the stand about the encounter, the prosecuting attorney was blindsided.
The police are there to help you. The prosecuting attorneys are there to prosecute. If you lie, fabricate, or hide relevant information such as this your jeopardizing the outcome of you're case and possibly your life.
There may come a time when your documentation will be introduced as evidence so be truthful.
Comments From Former Maricopa County Stalking Victims On Journals
Take several days to compile your journal if you haven't kept one in the past. You won't be able to remember everything in one night. When something pops in your head write it down. Don't worry what order you have it in at the time. Go back later and put it in the proper order according to the dates and times. Continually update your journal whenever you think of something and don't be surprised if it's days, weeks, or even months later when you remember various instances. Enlist the help of friends or family members to see if they can remember anything that could be of value.
Carry a small cassette tape recorder in your car. There were so many times, when I was driving in my car, that I would see something that instantly reminded me of something that I had forgotten about. I couldn't write and drive at the same time so I used my recorder. My tape recorder became my best friend. I paid $9.95 for mine. Small price to pay when it came to proving my case in court.
There were so many small things happening to me. I had totally convinced myself that none of these things would be relevant but I still documented everything (I do mean everything). In the end my journal proved to be one of the most important items in the prosecution of my stalker. It showed the police, the prosecutor, the jury and myself what was really happening. It did help prove my case. Was my journal worth the time I put into it? Absolutely.
My final draft put me in shock. Why didn't I ever see what was happening? If nothing else it woke me up. My recommendation to any victim of harassment or stalking is even if you feel you're not ready to file reports (like I did) -- write it down, read and re-read your journal. Let other people read it and listen to their views objectively. It gave me the confidence and courage to start filing reports. I found out it wasn't my imagination nor was I causing the situation. For weeks I had focused on one or two major issues and ignored the small ones. When my journal was complete I then saw the whole picture. The pieces to my puzzle finally put my stalker in jail.
When I finally got the courage to share and talk about my situation with my family and I would hear them make a remark on something that they remembered, it went in my journal. It wasn't until I almost lost my life that I realized that the jokes my stalker had made in the past weren't jokes. I am a survivor who never thought his jokes meant anything until he ran me off the road, over a small embankment. One thing he always joked about was how funny it would be to see me hanging over a cliff with me begging for his help and forgiveness. I know this wasn't a cliff but it was close enough for me. Listen and be aware of things that have been said to you - document, document, document and file police reports.
When my stalker was finally charged with stalking and I met with the person doing the pre-sentence investigation I was asked to give a general background. I not only had copies of the reports that had been filed but a copy of my journal with me. When I found out it could be given to the judge to read I was overwhelmed. It did scare me to find out that his defense attorney would get a copy but it was ok. Everything I had journalized had happened and I had nothing to hide. Between my journal and the police reports I had it gave a complete, simplified background on the stalking right down to the smallest "unexplained vandalism" to my car and the threats I continually received. I wish I could have seen the look on my stalkers face when his attorney confronted him.
I spent weeks keeping my journal up to date even when I became frustrated, angry and depressed. The only way I saw out was to relocate but I couldn't afford it. It wasn't until sentencing that the full impact and the full importance of my journal hit me. Two days before court I went through and highlighted everything I wanted to tell the judge and to try and make him understand what hell I had lived through. I was scared to death but without my journal I would have been a blundering fool. My stalkers family had no prior knowledge what had been done to me. After I had my turn to speak in court and my stalker was sentenced members of his family came over to me to apologize saying how sorry they were that they didn't have any idea what I had gone through. Please tell victims for me that journals do play a big part when your in the nightmare game of stalking (don't every look at stalking as a game, I'm using it only as a figure of speech). For me it was the bottom of the ninth inning, bases loaded, two outs, score tied, 3 balls and 2 strikes. I hit my grand slam against my stalker --so can you!
When I started compiling my journal it scared me to death. Everything jumped out at me in black and white. Things that I had told myself for weeks, that I thought were nothing, all fell together. It was like dumping a bucket of ice water over me. Why hadn't I written things down before? When I saw it in writing I knew I needed help from the police, it was far beyond my control. My advise to anyone being harassed or stalked. Don't wait, document - document - document. File the reports, prosecute and don't back down under any circumstance.
The journal can be a very valuable tool in prosecution. Keep it up to date and in a secure place. Always keep a duplicate copy of the journal in the event the original journal turns up missing.